It’s now day three of feeling the worst I’ve ever felt.
"why didn’t you ever get your tonsils removed if you’ve had strep several times in your child hood?" Asks the doc. Ha, The same reason Aaron never got braces resulting in him growing up with insecurities, the same reason we would always have Oreos and Ramen for dinner, the same reason when she decided she didn’t want to take care of us anymore, she didn’t. Our mother never gave a shit.
Any whoooosies, Day three of the worst Strep I’ve ever had. No exaggeration. I can’t swallow, guys! (insert that’s what she said here)
I’ve never had a fever for three days straight. I’d be okay if these were my last days rather than feeling this way anymore!
If I do continue on and persevere somehow and am able to swallow again (heh); Here is a list of things I am going to change immediately about my life when I’m back to normal:
- - I am never smoking a cigarette again. After having this pain in my throat for the past three days, I never want to feel that way again so any way to avoid it. Now, I’m sure this will be very difficult as I am more than a casual smoker (so don’t punch me in the face if I’m drunk with pals and I bummed one, okay? we’re all human) The point is I’m going to make a conscious effort.
- - Since I haven’t been able to eat a goddamn thing in three days, I’ve been dreaming about food. Oddly enough my dreams are of me in the produce section of the grocery store picking out the perfect ingredients for my juice blend. My body and subconscious mind are some how craving to start over with this new pallet I’ll acquire if I don’t die from this. I literally dreamt about blueberries and avocado, guys. Now my mouth is watering…
- -No one seems to really give a shit that I’m dying except my pal who is GOING THROUGH THE SAME ILLNESS AT THE SAME TIME, ISN’T THAT CRAZY!?! We’ve been updating each other on the status of our status and it’s made me feel better just knowing someone gives a shit.
The point of this one, I guess, is i need to filter out some folks. I’m too old for phony acquaintances and I need to let go of some who’ve let go of me already. le sigh.
- -since I can barely move, I’ve been spending a lot of time going through old emails, websites, flickr, art/photography
I wanna start creating again. Where the hell have I been? Dropping out of art school is not an excuse to just GIVE UP. I have plenty of time to be creative and I’m often times proud of the shit I make so what the hell Megan!
Basically these days stranded in my room doped up on meds have been very reflective. I hope I feel better soooon because damn I want some blue berries and avocado!